my senior not so 2000

this is an essay i had to write for english my senior year we got to decide what it was going to be on and i decided this. the annonymus high schooler is me. read it seriously. The stuff written in green is about me. by me. i wrote this.

Confidence Gap Caused By Whom or What?

As media grows more powerful and consistent every day, young women’s self-esteem diminishes at the same rate. The media is made up of magazines, television, internet and music and they provide an unrealistic image to woman of all ages. In some cases, parents also set a standard that is unable to be met. The most significant influence on a female, young or old, would be herself. Girls are faced with a daily struggle to gain self confidence.

All over the world, magazines portray models at unrealistic sizes. The article “Models, Teens, and Self-Esteem” says, “Most people in the spotlight are very underweight” (Carney 1). The magazines Photoshop their photographs and make these girls seem perfect. These magazines do not only affect young teens they also affect adults; one author explains, “Overall I would have to say that my self-image was completely hanging on whether or not I felt like I could fit the magazine stereotype of beautiful. I am still not there.” (Hendrick 1) Jessica Hendrick is a middle-aged woman still feeling unease about her body image and unable to accept it. Magazines have been placing detrimental images into woman’s lives for a long time; they promote failure and disappointment to conscious teens (1).

The television, on almost every channel, depicts a certain body size to all its viewers. Supposedly cameras may make you look 10 pounds heavier, but since they do, you need to lose those ten pounds that don’t exist. The television, just as much as if not more as magazines, portrays seemingly perfect lives, [in all matters and forms]; families have no weight struggles or troubles, and as a result, people want to imitate them. “Media, mainly television, drives young women to near insanity trying to emulate the popular notion of beauty” (Hendrick 1). The television is full of perversions of the female and male gender and is not depicting reality of size, body type, and health.

Music, even though there is not much physical power, other than music videos, has a real influence on the image of girls. Music is the backup melody to the viewing media. They intone the words that the media, as in magazines and television, cant illustrate. All that music is about is the sexy girls shaking their parts making out all of the girls to be worthless and cheap. A lot of rap music in particular is about who has the best breast and buttocks; whoever has the biggest of both is the hottest.

Parental influence on girls’ confidence is powerful. Girls are faced with meeting the expectation that their parents place in front of them for their whole lives. In the book, School Girls, a young woman expresses her distress about her father’s rejection. “Self-conscious about her weight and bruised by her father’s rejection, Lisa entered Weston craving peer approval at any cost.” (Orenstein 104) This short quote shows the effect that Lisa’s father had on her. Her rejection at home caused her to long for acceptance at school. The following quote from Marita McCabe and Lina Ricciardelli shows the impact that parents have on their teenage daughters “Media influences to alter weight, as well as feedback from mother, father, and both male and female peers, were greater on females”. Parents have seemed to play an important role in passing on sociocultural messages regarding the perfect body. In some situations the starting point of it all is the values that are set out before families. Health and beauty is, a lot of times, the bases for some shared family standards. The family plays a significant role for young girls longing to gain self confidence.

Female peer influence is influential in a young girls’ life. Female friends provide that strong one-on-one and group support. Studies have found that very few adolescent girls indicated that their friends advise dieting (McCabe and Ricciardelli 1). In the many studies that have been done girls have truthfully answered that friends don’t talk about that stuff. Since they themselves are going through their own struggle to gain self confidence they aren’t really ones to place the burden of dieting on other girls. The friend foundation is crucial in keeping their relationships strong. On the contrary, some [girls and boys] with low self esteem usually have weak relationships with family and friends (Self Esteem1). Having weak relationships usually then leads to depression and thoughts of suicide. A lot of times like previously quoted girls craves for the approval of their peers at school, church, sports teams, etc. . If a friend starts suggesting things like dieting or changing anything about oneself chances are one would listen. Girls will do anything to just be loved and accepted. This constant struggle seems to haunt many girls.
In every girls fairy tale there is a boy. Boyfriends are one of those things that come with high school. Girls that have boyfriends will most likely do anything for them; especially girls with low self esteem. Boys are bringing the standard of beauty either up or down. Now in everyone’s mind is that partner but they choose each other and most of the time looks have to do with it. Boyfriends are a girl’s table weight; the girls sit on the weight or spend time with the weight or look better for the weight so they can measure up to the world views on the other side. Girls often run to boys to know if they are pretty or not, creating that confidence gap.

Low self esteem can take girls on an emotional roller coaster. They want attention, love, and acceptance through this rough time. Many surveys have been taken to research and find shocking results, for instance, “young girls have indicated in surveys that they are more afraid of becoming fat then they are of cancer, nuclear war, or losing a parent”. (Hurley 1) Teens are petrified of getting “fat” and where to they get this scare from? They get it from the media, peers, parents, boyfriends, music, magazines, etc. Studies show that thoughts of bad body image usually lead to depression and anxiety. (Carney 1) Girls start to worry and work so hard to avoid getting fat that it consequently puts them in a depressive state, which often leads to eating disorders and self mutilation. All of this is a result of not being decent enough for the worlds judgment of beauty.

The physical torture that girls put themselves though is alarming. Eating disorders such as Anorexia and Bulimia have started an evolution in the world. One teen talked about the disease that took 3 years of her life away, “I thought I would never get over it, my life was being controlled by the only thing I could control. I still struggle with anorexia as it comes back to haunt me when I am the weakest.” (George) This teen, who thought that her body was the only thing that could be controlled in her chaotic life, was torn to parts by that very disorder. Many girls feel that by having power over something in their lives they can find tranquility in the midst of their pandemonium. While talking with this teen she verbalizes this “the anorexia did nothing for me other then bring about depression and place me on meds for months”. (George) This unfortunately is the story of so many young and old females around the globe. There own price of self- worth put them in a place that stops the rest of the world from reaching them.

The way people of the female form feel about themselves ultimately affects them in many ways. Chances of success are actually proven to be greatly lower when girls feel they are undeserving of certain things. An article states that after research they found that 20% less “fat” students go to college. (Orenstein 99) When girls look in the mirror and see nothing but an unattractive blob they feel they don’t have any reason to succeed, which stems from the depression that sets in after a while. Many girls are formed and molded by the things they do. If a girl hasn’t had much success in life often success isn’t in her vocabulary after awhile.

Well after going through the unhealthy solutions of the heart aches of self esteem, we now come to the healthy solutions. To start things off one should be encouraged to talk to someone about their problems. When that is not enough the media, instead of throwing girls down, should be working to let girls know they are not alone in their fight for self confidence. Parents should be checking in with their children more often, friends should be looking out for each other instead of encouraging or ignoring the problem. Last but not least the girls need to know they can get through it; there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Girls do not have to have the confidence struggles for their whole lives.

In conclusion girls are forced to fit a harmful mold by the influences around them. The media tells females they are not good enough and that they have much to improve. Likewise, friends and family push a disguised pressure and standard on all females in their path. Nevertheless, girls themselves are their own biggest enemy. Should these things and people be working this hard to tear young teenage girls down or should they be working to build them up in any way possible? The media, people in our time and close family and friends should be working to encourage one another instead of pulling them down. No body is perfect!

Ryan

I have found life isn't what I thought it was going to be...
Its harder and thing are way different especially when it comes to relationships.
Ryan and I have only been dating about 3 weeks and it is already different. we dont plan on seeing each other only on days at church or days at camp or school( like in high school). but we have to make time for each other. Its been great to be challenged in that way. to be challenged to live up to christs standards and not the worlds. to enjoy our time together and have as much fun as possible since we dont know when we will see each other again :) i love it.

<3>

God

You know i often wonder how a God so big could love people so small like me. he paid such a sacrifice for people he didn't know. he loves everyone ... how i have a hard enough time loving myself let alone other people.He works in such crazy ways its hard to believe things are true.God is so powerful. So amazing and majestic and wonderful. i am jsut amazed by him everyday. giving us breath when we dont deserve life giving us mercy when we deserve nothing. his love just overflows. and when he works through others especially kids it gives me so much hope. such a joy and peace about life. PRAISE GOD!!!

wow its been a while...

so to start things off lets reflect...

it has been about 4 or more months since i last blogged.
i went to camp this summer and had the best time ever.i was a counselor for 9 and 10 yr old girls whoa re just so fun to be around. it was even cooler that that wasn't my plan... i was hoping to have younger girls like 7 and to be with some close friends but i wasn't and God pushed me out of my bubble to live and work with people i probably would not of talked to normally. let me just say i was so blessed. God provided a wonderful co-counselor that by the end of the summer was my best friend. she is wonderful. I grew closer and apart from some friends but it was what god had planned. i witnessed miracles every week. On the last night of every session kids would ask christ into their hearts and jion the family of god. what is more wonderful then that. since then i have done some new stuff.
i am working now and deciding where god wants me. i know he has a plan i just dont know what it is yet.
i have a boyfriend who is wonderful. it was kind of one of those unexpected things but its working out great :) he means everything to me. <3 ryan

i miss my friends from camp so much. i wish they all lived closer or that i had a car to go see them.

i have had some hard decisions to make recently. to be in a relationship, to move out, to continue some other things i dont know if i should
(not bad things just things)

things are always rough at home but i am moving out. i got my own place in westbrook!!
i am so excited

well there is so much more but i dont know where to start so until next time.. :)