my senior not so 2000

this is an essay i had to write for english my senior year we got to decide what it was going to be on and i decided this. the annonymus high schooler is me. read it seriously. The stuff written in green is about me. by me. i wrote this.

Confidence Gap Caused By Whom or What?

As media grows more powerful and consistent every day, young women’s self-esteem diminishes at the same rate. The media is made up of magazines, television, internet and music and they provide an unrealistic image to woman of all ages. In some cases, parents also set a standard that is unable to be met. The most significant influence on a female, young or old, would be herself. Girls are faced with a daily struggle to gain self confidence.

All over the world, magazines portray models at unrealistic sizes. The article “Models, Teens, and Self-Esteem” says, “Most people in the spotlight are very underweight” (Carney 1). The magazines Photoshop their photographs and make these girls seem perfect. These magazines do not only affect young teens they also affect adults; one author explains, “Overall I would have to say that my self-image was completely hanging on whether or not I felt like I could fit the magazine stereotype of beautiful. I am still not there.” (Hendrick 1) Jessica Hendrick is a middle-aged woman still feeling unease about her body image and unable to accept it. Magazines have been placing detrimental images into woman’s lives for a long time; they promote failure and disappointment to conscious teens (1).

The television, on almost every channel, depicts a certain body size to all its viewers. Supposedly cameras may make you look 10 pounds heavier, but since they do, you need to lose those ten pounds that don’t exist. The television, just as much as if not more as magazines, portrays seemingly perfect lives, [in all matters and forms]; families have no weight struggles or troubles, and as a result, people want to imitate them. “Media, mainly television, drives young women to near insanity trying to emulate the popular notion of beauty” (Hendrick 1). The television is full of perversions of the female and male gender and is not depicting reality of size, body type, and health.

Music, even though there is not much physical power, other than music videos, has a real influence on the image of girls. Music is the backup melody to the viewing media. They intone the words that the media, as in magazines and television, cant illustrate. All that music is about is the sexy girls shaking their parts making out all of the girls to be worthless and cheap. A lot of rap music in particular is about who has the best breast and buttocks; whoever has the biggest of both is the hottest.

Parental influence on girls’ confidence is powerful. Girls are faced with meeting the expectation that their parents place in front of them for their whole lives. In the book, School Girls, a young woman expresses her distress about her father’s rejection. “Self-conscious about her weight and bruised by her father’s rejection, Lisa entered Weston craving peer approval at any cost.” (Orenstein 104) This short quote shows the effect that Lisa’s father had on her. Her rejection at home caused her to long for acceptance at school. The following quote from Marita McCabe and Lina Ricciardelli shows the impact that parents have on their teenage daughters “Media influences to alter weight, as well as feedback from mother, father, and both male and female peers, were greater on females”. Parents have seemed to play an important role in passing on sociocultural messages regarding the perfect body. In some situations the starting point of it all is the values that are set out before families. Health and beauty is, a lot of times, the bases for some shared family standards. The family plays a significant role for young girls longing to gain self confidence.

Female peer influence is influential in a young girls’ life. Female friends provide that strong one-on-one and group support. Studies have found that very few adolescent girls indicated that their friends advise dieting (McCabe and Ricciardelli 1). In the many studies that have been done girls have truthfully answered that friends don’t talk about that stuff. Since they themselves are going through their own struggle to gain self confidence they aren’t really ones to place the burden of dieting on other girls. The friend foundation is crucial in keeping their relationships strong. On the contrary, some [girls and boys] with low self esteem usually have weak relationships with family and friends (Self Esteem1). Having weak relationships usually then leads to depression and thoughts of suicide. A lot of times like previously quoted girls craves for the approval of their peers at school, church, sports teams, etc. . If a friend starts suggesting things like dieting or changing anything about oneself chances are one would listen. Girls will do anything to just be loved and accepted. This constant struggle seems to haunt many girls.
In every girls fairy tale there is a boy. Boyfriends are one of those things that come with high school. Girls that have boyfriends will most likely do anything for them; especially girls with low self esteem. Boys are bringing the standard of beauty either up or down. Now in everyone’s mind is that partner but they choose each other and most of the time looks have to do with it. Boyfriends are a girl’s table weight; the girls sit on the weight or spend time with the weight or look better for the weight so they can measure up to the world views on the other side. Girls often run to boys to know if they are pretty or not, creating that confidence gap.

Low self esteem can take girls on an emotional roller coaster. They want attention, love, and acceptance through this rough time. Many surveys have been taken to research and find shocking results, for instance, “young girls have indicated in surveys that they are more afraid of becoming fat then they are of cancer, nuclear war, or losing a parent”. (Hurley 1) Teens are petrified of getting “fat” and where to they get this scare from? They get it from the media, peers, parents, boyfriends, music, magazines, etc. Studies show that thoughts of bad body image usually lead to depression and anxiety. (Carney 1) Girls start to worry and work so hard to avoid getting fat that it consequently puts them in a depressive state, which often leads to eating disorders and self mutilation. All of this is a result of not being decent enough for the worlds judgment of beauty.

The physical torture that girls put themselves though is alarming. Eating disorders such as Anorexia and Bulimia have started an evolution in the world. One teen talked about the disease that took 3 years of her life away, “I thought I would never get over it, my life was being controlled by the only thing I could control. I still struggle with anorexia as it comes back to haunt me when I am the weakest.” (George) This teen, who thought that her body was the only thing that could be controlled in her chaotic life, was torn to parts by that very disorder. Many girls feel that by having power over something in their lives they can find tranquility in the midst of their pandemonium. While talking with this teen she verbalizes this “the anorexia did nothing for me other then bring about depression and place me on meds for months”. (George) This unfortunately is the story of so many young and old females around the globe. There own price of self- worth put them in a place that stops the rest of the world from reaching them.

The way people of the female form feel about themselves ultimately affects them in many ways. Chances of success are actually proven to be greatly lower when girls feel they are undeserving of certain things. An article states that after research they found that 20% less “fat” students go to college. (Orenstein 99) When girls look in the mirror and see nothing but an unattractive blob they feel they don’t have any reason to succeed, which stems from the depression that sets in after a while. Many girls are formed and molded by the things they do. If a girl hasn’t had much success in life often success isn’t in her vocabulary after awhile.

Well after going through the unhealthy solutions of the heart aches of self esteem, we now come to the healthy solutions. To start things off one should be encouraged to talk to someone about their problems. When that is not enough the media, instead of throwing girls down, should be working to let girls know they are not alone in their fight for self confidence. Parents should be checking in with their children more often, friends should be looking out for each other instead of encouraging or ignoring the problem. Last but not least the girls need to know they can get through it; there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Girls do not have to have the confidence struggles for their whole lives.

In conclusion girls are forced to fit a harmful mold by the influences around them. The media tells females they are not good enough and that they have much to improve. Likewise, friends and family push a disguised pressure and standard on all females in their path. Nevertheless, girls themselves are their own biggest enemy. Should these things and people be working this hard to tear young teenage girls down or should they be working to build them up in any way possible? The media, people in our time and close family and friends should be working to encourage one another instead of pulling them down. No body is perfect!

Ryan

I have found life isn't what I thought it was going to be...
Its harder and thing are way different especially when it comes to relationships.
Ryan and I have only been dating about 3 weeks and it is already different. we dont plan on seeing each other only on days at church or days at camp or school( like in high school). but we have to make time for each other. Its been great to be challenged in that way. to be challenged to live up to christs standards and not the worlds. to enjoy our time together and have as much fun as possible since we dont know when we will see each other again :) i love it.

<3>

God

You know i often wonder how a God so big could love people so small like me. he paid such a sacrifice for people he didn't know. he loves everyone ... how i have a hard enough time loving myself let alone other people.He works in such crazy ways its hard to believe things are true.God is so powerful. So amazing and majestic and wonderful. i am jsut amazed by him everyday. giving us breath when we dont deserve life giving us mercy when we deserve nothing. his love just overflows. and when he works through others especially kids it gives me so much hope. such a joy and peace about life. PRAISE GOD!!!

wow its been a while...

so to start things off lets reflect...

it has been about 4 or more months since i last blogged.
i went to camp this summer and had the best time ever.i was a counselor for 9 and 10 yr old girls whoa re just so fun to be around. it was even cooler that that wasn't my plan... i was hoping to have younger girls like 7 and to be with some close friends but i wasn't and God pushed me out of my bubble to live and work with people i probably would not of talked to normally. let me just say i was so blessed. God provided a wonderful co-counselor that by the end of the summer was my best friend. she is wonderful. I grew closer and apart from some friends but it was what god had planned. i witnessed miracles every week. On the last night of every session kids would ask christ into their hearts and jion the family of god. what is more wonderful then that. since then i have done some new stuff.
i am working now and deciding where god wants me. i know he has a plan i just dont know what it is yet.
i have a boyfriend who is wonderful. it was kind of one of those unexpected things but its working out great :) he means everything to me. <3 ryan

i miss my friends from camp so much. i wish they all lived closer or that i had a car to go see them.

i have had some hard decisions to make recently. to be in a relationship, to move out, to continue some other things i dont know if i should
(not bad things just things)

things are always rough at home but i am moving out. i got my own place in westbrook!!
i am so excited

well there is so much more but i dont know where to start so until next time.. :)

soooo....

well i haven't written in a few days. but i don't know what i am supposed to write. i may get to see my brother and sister,who i have never met, this week!! i am sooo excited. see they both live with there moms and i have a different one then both of them. but yeah. so another cool thing happened this week... i had plans to do some stuff that was definitely against what god has planned for me and god showed me what he really wanted happening. i was soooo relieved. :) i love Jesus!!

uhhhh....

so i have been reflecting lately on life and god and my walk with him. there have been some major points in my life where i have grown incredibly and i believe this past summer was on of those times. i got to spend quality time with God and also spend that quality time with friends. he showed me so much over the summer. taught me patients and the value of friendship. i thank god for all of the people he placed in my life especially through the tough times i experienced at camp. the reunion or memorial of my friends death and the disconnection between me and my former counselor. dealing with a rough home life and yet still makin it through. so thanks to all of you in my life who were there for me. i love you all.

sometimes i think about life and all that it contains it kind of impresses me. we can breath and move around and make friends and love. God has done so much for us and it really amazes me. i think about all of the things to look forward to in life : graduation and marriage and family of my own, making new friends and keeping the old, watching my children grow up and go off to college. travel a bit, start and finish a career, have my own house! all of this stuff just makes me want to thank god for life even more then normal.


so anyways new question...

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway

What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?

Do you yawn in your sleep?

Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?

Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Why can't donuts be square?

Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

about me!!

Favorites:

food? popcorn and watermelon
color? lime green
sport? basketball
soda? sierra mist
hobby? collecting rubber duckies
place in Maine? Camp Sebago
fast food? Wendy's
other eating out? subway
snack? pickles, eggs, and nutella
animal? dog


things i am scared of:

the dark
spiders
heights
hamsters
crazy drivers
being left alone
loosing friends
loosing someone close to me

have i ever?

driven a car? yes
drugs? nope
drink? nope
jump of a cliff? yes
fallen in love? yes
had my heart broken? yes


places i wanna go:

New Zealand
Ireland
England
Australia
California
South Africa
France
Sudan
Egypt
Italy
Canada


my new years resolutions:
Lose 10 pounds

Try something new

Start saying yes to more stuff

Try to spend time with god every day.

Make more friends

Keep in contact with the old ones

Send in college applications

Find a place to live

Get my license

Get a job

Finish corps cadet class

Witness a miracle

Step up in leadership

Decide my future.
Make it out of the country

well lets see here...

so today has been a good day. really i have had a pretty good week. except i cant go on the college trip but i do get to speak to the middle school students at the youth tubing event this weekend! :) thats exciting. i am hoping to continue to do this but i dont know what i am supposed to write about. i dont even know if people read these things. but anyways... something has been on my mind, i was in bible study yesterday and i came up with this question... (we are studying judas) : if it was in gods plan for judas to betray christ so that he would be killed on the cross then was it in his plan for judas' heart to be hardened to christ for so long? he sat and listened to christ himself speak and was not effected by it in the least. or was he? he did kill himself after he sold christ. so i dont know... hmmm... anyways... another topic...why is it that in drive throughs there is brail on all of the things like at the atm drive through? they cant drive, i dont think... just a question if anyone knows the answer leave one and let me know. :) oh and how come you get a fine for walking through the drive through? $500 at burger king.
so anyways i hope i get some sort of comment so i know someone is reading this...


talk to you tomorrow!!! :)

about me... really deep stuff no one really knows untill now!!!

well i have never done this before so help me out...
i will tell you about me first...

i am a senior who has no idea what is in store for life
i love people but have a hard time with my family
life is tough but i love Jesus
Jesus is the man of my dreams
i think that being yourself is one of the most important qualities in a person
patients is a virtue
i am really bad at school
i don't do drugs or drink
i have friends all over the world
my life is a mess


and now for the serious stuff...
i faced an eating disorder for 3 yrs.
i was sexually abused by someone close who i thought i could trust when i was young
sometimes when i am around people for to long i start to hate them
i get jealous of almost everyone
i don't have a relationship with my mom or dad... well they are both very broken shattered i would say.
i don't really have many ... "friends" in my opinion
i have had a lot of deaths in my life to people who i never really took the time to pray for and tell about Christ
i worry about my self image and weight everyday.

and now the lighter side of things
i have Jesus so i have almost conquered all of these
i love to go to bible studies to learn about god
i love the friends i do have
i love school...well kind of
i cant wait for this coming year.